I'm Not Bougie

So I went on a date with this civil rights attorney a few years ago. I was feeling his vibe because he was all about grass root causes (right fist in the air) and obviously fighting for the rights of all people (or why else would he become a civil rights attorney?). He took me to a popular seafood restaurant downtown and he snagged a prime table next to the live band that was playing that night. Needless to say, the date started out positively; there was a lot of smiling, laughing, etc… exactly how you want a first date to go… that is, until the food arrived. I ordered fish and he ordered steak, I mean it was a restaurant known for its seafood so that seemed to be the logical choice to order a seafood dish, right?. When the waiter delivered our meals, my date goes, “I got the fish” and the waiter proceeded to place the fish dish in front of him, then I corrected him and said, “No, you got the steak,” so then the waiter switched plates and walked away. Then my date goes, “well your fish looks better than my steak so I didn’t think you’d mind if we swapped.” I thought he was joking until he grabbed my plate and tried to switch with me again… I strongly said, “No, I don’t want to swap,” and grabbed my plate back and then he goes, “Ok, can I still have some?” I replied, “Of course,” and before I knew it, he had speared my fish with his fork and took like 1/3 of it and had the nerve to swish it around the plate, sopping up most of the sauce. I didn’t say anything… I was just thinking to myself, ‘we’re at a seafood restaurant and you ordered a steak…but yet I have to suffer…’ So the awkward moment passed and we continued our conversation and I thought the worst had passed until I saw that he was still eyeing my plate and he goes, “Can I have another piece?” I said, sure and I was NICE ENOUGH to cut him a piece and give it to him, then he goes, “If you don’t finish it all, can I take it home?” I seriously started looking around for the hidden camera because I KNEW this dude couldn’t be serious… I mean really? Why don’t I regurgitate what I already ate and you can go home and fricassee it to your liking? So I said, “Well, I plan on finishing my meal,” and he said with a straight face, “Why would you do that if you knew I wanted to take it home?” I was done. I stopped eating and said, “You’re right.” Even though the man took me on a date and wouldn’t let me eat the food I ordered, THIS WAS NOT THE REASON WHY THIS WAS THE WORST DATE OF MY LIFE. The reason that this date will forever be ingrained in my mind and has scarred me for life is because of the proceeding conversation we had. Since I obviously wasn’t going to eat much more, we started talking about the pending Prop 8 legislation and how he was working on opposing the amendment and we got into this great conversation (that distracted him from my fish momentarily) about the civil rights of people and how our jobs are somewhat intertwined with him working on defending their rights and with me covering the story in the news. He asked me why I personally supported gay marriage and civil unions and I explained that when I was growing up, my mom had friends that were in same-sex relationships and it never struck me as wrong or different-that’s just who they were with and seeing that as a child made it acceptable as an adult. I told him how I thought it was despicable that people couldn’t be at the hospital bedside of their loved ones because they weren’t recognized as family or as a spouse and how I thought it was wrong for anyone to determine for another who they could legally be bound to or share their life with. While I was going off on my spiel, he kept nodding his head in agreement and I was glad we were on the same liberal page… or so I thought… then he asked me, “What do you think about gays raising children?” He threw me off with the use of ‘gays’ and I was slightly confused, but I responded, “What about it? I don’t have a problem with it.” He screwed up his face and said, “I don’t think gays should be parents.” I immediately laughed it off and said sarcastically, “So how are you going to control the wombs of millions of women? You can’t stop people from having children.” And he totally ignored what I said and continued, “I mean let them get married, let them share benefits, but letting them be parents? That’s too much.” Letting? So I said to this fool, “Ok, there are plenty of children out there with heterosexual parents who don’t give a damn about them, who are abusive and who are horrible parents overall so good parenting has nothing to do with sexual orientation. What’s wrong with a homosexual couple providing a loving home?” He responds, “Because they’re going to mess those kids up. What I think we should do is let the gays have the crack babies, the mentally disabled kids or the terminally ill kids SO THAT IF THEY MESS THEM UP, IT WON’T MATTER BECAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY MESSED UP ANYWAY.” My fork was midway to my mouth (trying to sneak a piece of MY fish) and at that point, I kid you not, I dropped it on the table and just stared at him. I don’t think I had been privy to that level of ignorance and bigotry so close up and personal-it was like a smack in the face. Just like with the fish, I looked to my left and looked to my right because I KNEW this had to be a joke and that Bob Saget was going to jump out and tell me I was on some ridiculous dating show where poor, unsuspecting women were set up with ridiculous men and forced to endure a torturous night to win $10,000 if they made it to the end. That was it for me, $10,000 or not. I pushed my plate away, turned my chair so that I could face him directly, then proceeded to tell him how IGNORANT his statement was and how offensive it was to homosexuals, crack babies, the mentally disabled, the terminally ill and just regular ‘ole folks like me. I was disgusted to even be in this man’s presence, I mean you have to be a really hateful person to think of something like that and to believe that you’re actually saving all the ‘normal’ children from the hands of the oh-so-dangerous ‘gays’ by sacrificing all the allegedly unwanted children to their homosexual whims. I also told him I thought it was slightly hypocritical for him to fight for certain rights of a group, only to deny them certain liberties that a lot of us take for granted. I told him I was ready to go and sure enough, he got the rest of my food wrapped up to take it home (weirdo) and then had the nerve to stiff our waitress on her tip so much so, I had to slip her a $20 on the low to make up the difference. With all that said, it was the worst date of my life because it showed me that ignorance flourishes in every realm and that when you least expected it, it will knock you down… and I’m still mad about that little piece of fish he brolicked from me!